Many thousands of years ago, there lived a man in Canaan (Israel). One day he heard voices in his head that told him to go and break his neighbors toys/idols. Faithfully, the man obeyed (probably the earliest recorded case of willful vandalism). For this and a few other such monumental acts he came to be fondly known as the “patriarch” of the “chosen ones”. His descendents, the “chosen ones” spent many centuries fighting with each other and harassing those that were not so “chosen”.
Fast forward to Arabia of the 6th or 7th century AD. Another man came along that claimed to be a descendent of the man from Canaan. He too heard voices in his head that told him to do all sort of things. Heck, he was such a cool dude that the voices in his head pretty much gave him permission to indulge in anything he wished to indulge in – break idols, attack caravans, fight with his tribe (or other tribes), take slaves, torture or kill. Today his followers are confused zombies unsure about the question – to be or not to be (as their great leader was).
There was a slight change of scenerio in the nineteenth century. Now the next great “prophet” turned up in America. In addition to hearing voices in his head, he also saw angels that led him to a divine book. Amazingly, only he was able to translate the book (hallelujah!). Amongst his many teachings was this pearl of “wisdom” – the path to heaven for a man is to have as many wives as possible (and of course the path to heaven for the wives is to let her husband have as many wives as possible). Today his loyal followers obey him to the hilt. They spurn all fruits of human toil and genius except for the services of lawyers which they need to fight for their “rights”. The “right” to allow little boys/girls to be trained/brainwashed (punished?) into following their leader’s dream. The “right” to sexually abuse girls routinely. Sweet fellas, aren’t they? They are so cute that if they are forced to expel any of the adult men that do not toe the line, they make sure that the man’s wives and children are redistributed (All for one, one for all etc. Plus, remember, more the wives better the chance to get to heaven). And who dare stop them, who dare defy the voices in the head of their great prophet.
Now we must move on to our own twentieth century “prophet”. After all, humans are all thetans that have migrated from an alien planet. Psychiatry is a pseudo science but scientology is not a pseudo religion. How can it be? The voices in Ron Hubbard’s head declared it to be true. We also have a famous actor jumping on a sofa proclaiming its “trueness”. Just attend the meetings faithfully and you too will be convinced (but you are welcome at the meetings only if you have a few millions in spare cash). In fact the only thing better than scientology is the FSM (flying spagetti monster).
Voices in the head? Prophets or charismatic snakes? Perhaps they were all simply billy goats. As Forrest Gump might have said – A prophet is as prophet does. You decide.